How to Convince a Boy to Kiss You Read online

‘Princess, it’s nothing.’ He gave me a grin. ‘It’s not like I’m sporting war wounds or anything.’

  ‘Mummy, why is that boy’s lip so big?’ A little boy heading up the hill with his parents, who were heaving a huge picnic basket, pointed at Hayden.

  ‘Ben! No pointing!’ The mother pulled the boy’s hand down and sent us an apologetic look.

  Ben kept looking back at Hayden as his mum dragged him up the hill. ‘But it’s huge!’ He threw his arms out to demonstrate just how grotesquely swollen Hayden’s lip was.

  ‘Okay, obviously a bit of a war wound.’ Hayden laughed awkwardly.

  ‘No, Hayden —’

  I stopped as a group of pre-teens wandered by and did a so-not-subtle double-take at the sight of Hayden’s face, which now wore no glimpse of his former grin. Did kids have no manners these days?

  ‘Thankfully the sun will set soon and your deformed date will be hidden from view,’ Hayden said as the pre-teens finally passed by. ‘With all these stares I can’t help feeling a little like the Hunchback of Nôtre Dame.’

  Less than a week of dating and I was officially responsible for Hayden deeming himself Quasimodo? Soon he’d be locking himself up in a tower. Should I take his hand? Try and talk him out of it? Tell him I was sorry for the twelve hundredth time?

  Just as I reached out to take his hand, Hayden moved away from me, claiming the spot near Cassie’s sparkly new shoes. He was actually widening the distance between us.

  Tyler and Lindsay both looked at me, surprised. I felt a lump appear in my throat and stared at the pattern of the picnic rug as a flush bloomed over my face. I’d never imagined that any date would turn his back on me. Especially not Hayden, whose level of chivalry generally bordered on that of the uber-knight Lancelot.

  Fortunately the movie started at that moment and I willed myself to focus on the opening credits. Three days ago, watching Love Actually (number two on my most-loved movie list) with Hayden, my bestie and her date had seemed like a dream idea. Now I found myself cursing the fact that we’d talked the boys out of the action movie they’d wanted to see. All the long looks, passionate embraces and aw-inducing moments being played out on the giant outdoor screen only served to highlight the awkwardness of the situation. My entire being seemed focused on Hayden’s back, willing him to turn around, to exhibit some kind of recognition that I was his date.

  I got my wish at one point — Hayden gave me a half-smile when he turned around to grab the mineral water — but it only served to make me feel worse than if he hadn’t looked my way at all. I’d foolishly hoped he was turning to reach for my hand instead of the Evian.

  I was selfishly relieved when Lindsay came crawling over in the semi-darkness halfway through the film.

  ‘He’s chewing really loudly!’ she said, grabbing a bunch of grapes out of the picnic cooler. ‘It’s driving me nuts!’

  Obviously the flame of romance was far from reignited. I looked over at Tyler, who was obliviously munching away on a huge baguette stuffed with salami.

  At that moment, the movie stopped for intermission and the harbourside lamps switched on, flooding the area with light. Cass and Scott, mid-kiss yet again, blinkingly pulled away from each other. Cassie giggled as she wiped berry-pink lipstick off Scott’s cheek.

  ‘Thank god.’ Lindsay stood up. ‘I’m going for dessert. Anyone want ice-cream from the vendor guy?’

  ‘We’ll share,’ Scott said. He kept staring into Cassie’s eyes as he absently handed over a fifty-dollar note.

  ‘Right, well, that should just about cover the one ice-cream,’ Lindsay said wryly.

  ‘Cornetto, right?’ I asked Hayden as I leapt up. No way was I staying here while Cass and Scott made out and Hayden and I pretended to study the half-time ads.

  ‘I’ll come with you, ladies.’ Tyler started wrapping the remaining half of the baguette in a plastic bag for later.

  ‘No need!’ Lindsay said, and dashed down the hill, dragging me behind her, before poor Tyler could stand up.

  ‘Obviously not just the baguette?’ I asked as we got in line for the ice-cream stand.

  ‘Salami-scented breath does not equal a happy date.’ Lindsay studied the ice-cream choices on the board. ‘I don’t understand how he can expect to have one arm round me and be brandishing a hideous-smelling sandwich in his other hand. He knows I hate salami. Does he literally think I’ll put up with anything?’

  Ah, so that was it.

  ‘You’re still angry that he broke up with you,’ I said.

  ‘Yes and no. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it,’ Lindsay replied. ‘I’m trying to leave the past in the past.’

  ‘But you can’t ignore your feelings —’

  ‘Four Magnums and a Cornetto,’ Lindsay said as we reached the head of the line.

  I gave up. I didn’t want to upset Lindsay on our triple date — the level of discomfort exuded by Hayden and me was creating more than enough bad vibes for one night. I’d just have to work out a subtle stirring-of-passions strategy to accelerate the TylerandLindsay merry-go-round just a little bit.

  ‘Well, at least the date’s going well for Cass,’ I said as we took the ice-creams and headed back to the others.

  Lindsay paused under one of the lamps lining the foreshore. ‘There’s still another five mins of intermission.’

  ‘You’re right,’ I said, thinking of the three hundred awkward seconds I’d have to bear once I returned to Hayden.

  We both let out a sigh.

  ‘Well, we’re certainly hyper-enthusiastic about our dates,’ Lindsay said with a short laugh.

  ‘In my case, it’s my date who’s not enthusiastic about me,’ I replied. ‘At least Tyler’s actually sitting beside you. I’m betting that Hayden would construct an isolation chamber if he had access to any materials.’

  ‘I’m the one in need of an isolation chamber,’ Lindsay said, opening her Magnum and taking a big bite. ‘My entire picnic rug smells like a butcher shop.’

  ‘Dream date this is not.’ I opened my own ice-cream and took solace in the chocolate shell.

  ‘Aurora, I think Hayden’s just self-conscious. Did you see how many people did a double-take as they walked by?’

  ‘Self-conscious or just scared I’ll deal out another blow,’ I said.

  ‘No, it’s the former,’ Lindsay said firmly. ‘Imagine if you were in his shoes, navigating a picnic date with Mick Jagger-like lips that are hardly conducive to clear speech or coordinated eating or drinking. He’s like one of those knights undertaking a treacherous task in the name of his lady love. You remember how Lancelot had to climb into that leper cart to rescue Guinevere?’

  ‘Yes.’ I sighed along with Lindsay, remembering the saga of Lancelot and Guinevere’s doomed love, as recounted by Mrs Kent in our English class.

  ‘But why turn away from me?’ I asked, not too happy that in Lindsay’s eyes a date with me was akin to riding in a leper cart. ‘Ignoring his lady love doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture.’

  Lindsay shrugged. ‘He’s probably worried that if he cosies up to you, you’ll become the target of cruel stares as well, so he’s bearing it alone on the outer edge of the picnic blanket.’

  Now I felt terrible for being annoyed at him earlier on.

  ‘But I’m proud to be with him!’ I said.

  ‘Then make him feel reassured. Extend a hand, show him that you’re willing to sit beside the boy with the swollen lip. Then watch him melt.’ Lindsay checked her watch. ‘We’d better go.’

  I walked up the hill with a new-found purpose. Compassion and care were my imperatives now. Extending a hand at the movies was simple compared with attempting a Cleopatra-esque conquest on my couch. I could do this!

  I handed Hayden his ice-cream.

  ‘Thanks, Princess.’ His eyes brightened as he took the Cornetto from me and began to unwrap it. Seeing his eyes flicker from greeny-gold to almost topaz, I knew. He didn’t want to be banished to sitting by Cassie’s ball
et flats. He’d done it because he’d believed that was best for me. Before I could overthink it, I sat down next to him, leaving a paltry five-centimetre gap between us. If that didn’t show him I was willing to join him in his humiliation, then nothing would.

  Hayden’s eyebrows went up a fraction in surprise.

  ‘It felt silly to be over there alone,’ I said, ‘when I wanted to be here with you.’

  I felt slightly teary. Could Hayden really believe that I’d willingly separate myself from him because of a little public gawping? I supposed four years of me treating him like the bane of my life had left him with lingering doubts when it came to my regard for him. But after our highly emotional acknowledgments in the auditorium on Monday, I’d hoped he would see how much I was willing to lay my heart on the line for him. Our fledgling relationship surely wasn’t so fragile that one not-so-ideal date could spell the end — was it?

  I felt an overwhelming eagerness to share everything with Hayden, to let him in, little by little, to the world that was mine. It was a world that he’d known inside out as my childhood playmate, before I’d drawn the curtains on our friendship following my mother’s sudden departure. Four years. It felt like yesterday and forever ago at the same time. The last day my mother had been, in truth, my mother (i.e. residing within our family unit, not out of mobile, email and Facebook contact for twelve-month periods at a time), she’d asked me to spend the afternoon with her. It was an unusual request — she’d never been big on bonding time — but I’d chosen to go over to Hayden’s instead. His pool had just been finished and he and I were dying to try it out. The next day she was gone. A hurried message on the answering machine was all the NAD and I had left of her. After that, seeing Hayden, hearing his voice, or even the mention of his name, was a reminder of the oh-so-fragile moment when I might have kept my family together. Like the NAD, it had taken me close to four years to come to some kind of forgiveness — of my mother, but also of myself.

  I felt like those four years of lost opportunities were there in my eyes as I looked back at Hayden.

  His lower lip (as much as it could with three stitches) stretched into a smile. ‘I’ve wanted to be sitting next to you for about an aeon! I feel like the guy in that book you love, the one who’s always chasing the red-haired girl, Anne. What’s his name? That’s it — Gilbert Blythe!’

  As always, he’d touched the feelings tucked away deep inside me. And he’d referenced Anne of Green Gables to boot. No-one else got me the way he did.

  ‘Well, we’re here now,’ I said. ‘Let’s not waste another second in case the next date is four years coming!’

  We laughed, but my words seemed to sit like a palpable presence between us.

  ‘I’m not letting that happen ever again,’ Hayden said, his tone serious.

  We held each other’s gaze steadily, as if giving further conviction to our assurances. Every other sound became just a low buzz somewhere far beyond the seclusion of our shared world. Lindsay had been spot on. The ‘alternate world’ exclusive to couples really did seem to operate in a different time zone.

  That is, until it was shattered by a third party.

  ‘Great movie, huh?’ Tyler said, popping up behind us. He grabbed our shoulders and pushed us forcefully together.

  Hayden was thrown off balance. He threw out a hand to stop himself from body-slamming into me. Unfortunately, the hand he chose was the one holding the Cornetto. I tried to move but there was no hope — seconds later I felt the cold ice-cream smoosh into the side of my head. I flung a hand up to my vanilla-streaked hair and my Magnum tumbled out of my hand and bounced onto Hayden’s white shorts, scattering shards of chocolate onto his thigh and lap. If I was ever lucky enough to score another date, I was so going to turn up wearing a helmet and an apron.

  ‘Tyler, what is wrong with you?’ Lindsay yelled, yanking a hugely embarrassed Tyler to his feet.

  ‘I felt bad for them, babe!’ Unfortunately, his whisper was loud enough for Hayden and me to hear. ‘You said you wanted to get them closer, so that’s what I was trying to do.’

  ‘I never said for you to literally knock their heads together!’ Lindsay hissed. ‘How could that ever be considered romantic?’

  Now I felt even worse. Not only were Hayden and I an object of pity to other couples, but the mishaps of my love life were also causing my friends to drive their relationship onto the rocks of blame and resentment. Not to mention the fact that Hayden and I were once again a public spectacle.

  ‘Sit down!’ came a shout from behind us as the second half of the movie started.

  We probably looked like a bunch of teenage troublemakers, what with Cass and Scott’s fervent PDAs, Tyler and Lindsay shouting at each other, and Hayden’s swollen lip.

  ‘Babe, I don’t know,’ Tyler sighed, handing Hayden and me wet napkins to wipe the remnants of our respective ice-creams off our skin and clothes. ‘All I was trying to do was make you happy. Just tell me exactly what you want me to do and I’ll do it!’

  Lindsay didn’t answer. She sat down next to me, her arms crossed firmly against her chest. I could see her eyes had tears in them.

  ‘I don’t know what I want any more,’ she whispered, just loudly enough so that only I could hear her.

  CHAPTER 5

  ‘I want the date lowdown!’ Sara said as she joined Cass, Lindsay and me outside the auditorium. We were catching up on our respective weekends prior to the start of assembly. Sara was virtually shaking invisible maracas with enthusiasm. ‘And don’t think you can skimp on the details. I’ll be hounding you until you give them up.’

  I paused, at a loss as to how to sum up Saturday night. I glanced at Cass and Lindsay. Maybe as impartial observers, they’d be able to outline my date without resorting to: ‘Hayden and Aurora are obviously doomed to an eternity of physical contact bordering on violence.’

  Lindsay and Cass looked at each other, but didn’t open their mouths.

  ‘Come on, Aurora,’ Sara said in a singsong voice, rubbing her palms together in anticipation.

  I just had to get this over with. ‘We ended up coated in chocolate and ice-cream.’

  ‘Woo!’ Sara semi-shrieked, punching the air. ‘Aurora! Way to start up the spice!’

  A number of our classmates turned to look at us.

  ‘Shhh!’ I reminded Sara to keep the conversation private.

  ‘You pulled out chocolate body paint on a group date?’ Sara asked, fractionally lowering her voice.

  ‘No!’ I cried. ‘The chocolate wasn’t intentional!’

  ‘You had some Cadbury and got creative at half-time?’ Sara closed her eyes and put on her best sultry voice. ‘“Aurora lifted up Hayden’s shirt oh so slowly, revealing his chiselled abdominal muscles. He let out a low moan as she took the chocolate-dipped paintbrush and traced the bristles over his tanned skin —”’

  ‘Why would she have a paintbrush with her at the outdoor movies?’ Lindsay interrupted.

  Sara paused for a second. ‘Okay, start again. “Aurora lifted up Hayden’s shirt oh so slowly, revealing his chiselled abdominal muscles. She reached for the rapidly melting row of chocolate beside her and traced it over his tanned skin —”’

  ‘I don’t know if the word “row” is sexy,’ Cassie helpfully put in.

  I buried my head in my hands. One wrongly phrased sentence and my friends were off on a chocolate-themed fantasy sequence.

  ‘I’m not using the word “block”,’ Sara said. ‘Aurora lifting a block of chocolate up to Hayden’s stomach muscles makes her sound totally ungainly. So not hot. Anyway … “Aurora warmed the row in her hands, then lifted a chocolate-dipped finger to Hayden’s lips —”’

  I cut in. ‘Can I just bring us all back to reality before this thing gets really weird and say that there was no bare chest, chiselled abs or chocolate-dipped fingers? The only place chocolate got smeared — and I’m using a non-sexy term for a reason — was on Hayden’s pants.’

  Sara spat out the water
she’d just sipped from her Evian bottle.

  ‘Okay, so how have you waited till now to spill this story?’ she asked. ‘This is beyond creative. This is like sealed-section Dolly.’

  She seriously thought this was what I got up to in public? Or even not in public? I was the girl who’d never been kissed until last week!

  ‘Tyler pushed us together, Hayden’s ice-cream went into my hair and my ice-cream fell into his lap,’ I said in a rush. ‘It was awkward, sticky and the furthest thing from a turn-on.’

  Sara’s face was the picture of disappointment.

  ‘I spent more time with Lindsay than anyone else at the picnic,’ I added. ‘Cass had to do the kissing for all of us.’

  Cass blushed. ‘Aurora, it wasn’t that bad, was it? I don’t think it was, right?’

  But I wasn’t listening to Cass any more. My attention was distracted by the sight of Jelena running towards us. I’d known Jelena for ten years and I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen her run. Four of those occasions were sport-related. You’re probably wondering how someone could get through primary- and high-school sport without having to dash about, but Jelena had her tactics down pat. At school carnivals she was the one chalking up the track, firing the starting gun or handing out ribbons to the winners. Mrs Harris, the PE teacher, believed that Jelena was so wholeheartedly committed to promoting athletics that she refused to enter her in any actual events so Jelena could dedicate herself to ‘working her multi-tasking magic!’ The fifth occasion was a Jimmy Choo half-price sale, and Jelena actually sprinted. Those long legs could move when a truly worthy fashion emergency called.

  ‘This is it!’ she said breathlessly as she reached us, her normally cool tones up an octave. ‘This is where it all begins!’

  ‘Where what begins?’ Lindsay asked.

  ‘Seduction on a grand scale.’ Jelena’s so-strikingly-blue-most-people-wouldn’t-believe-they-weren’t-coloured-contacts eyes were bright with excitement.

  ‘You’re targeting a guy who’s at uni?’ Sara guessed.

  ‘This has nothing to do with boys,’ Jelena said archly. ‘This is about swaying the masses.’